Change, is a turning point of life and entrance of new life...
But, I have different view on this, and is my true feeling + experiences...
Scare, nervous, and sadness, are mixed and this feeling is never good...
I want my family, friend, teacher, and all my stuff remains unchanged...

Last night, my friend asked me, "你在??面前也会这样吗?" I didn't answer...
I realized, all this times, I m pretending to be happy, cool, and funny... I m really feel tired already... I don't know why, but it is totally not me... May be I m tried to prove something, not to others, is for myself...
And now, I will say :" No, I m just not this kind of people, the one in front of ??, is me..."

Anything out of expectation may happen at any time... It can either be good or bad to you, but sometime we just have to accept it... This is FATE, our fate that we couldn't change... For me, I will take it as part of my life, as a memories...Although, is a sad memory, but still can make our life more interesting, once you have gone through it...
Finally, I had made a decision... Is also only choice I can made, haiz... So, UTM is my final choice..

2 days had passed... Just a normal normal life, nothing special...
Wake up, having breakfast, surfing internet, and watching anime...
No target, just try my best in using up this 24 hours...

Boring, and meaningless... Is it what we called life? I have ever thought, is our life a duty? A must done duty... For me, in this 20 years, I study, took exam, and now get a place in university... Is that means I had passed my 1st stage duty... What meaning does this duty carring? Good career, future, and wealthy... All this 3 things, not important for me...
All I had done is not called success... In the past, I m only living in space of myself... I not even have a real friend, because I opted to go it alone... But that was already wrong, is a big mistake I made...

Today I telling myself, it is a happy day... I tried everything to feel better, but finally I find out, is useless... The main problem is me.. Is me still depressed?? I really don't know... I have nobady to talk to, all I have, is only me.. I never thought my life could be like this... Now, I only can hoping in next minute, all those feeling will gone, give me a normal life...

I had received 2 university offer, both of them are well known U in Malaysia... The course given by this 2 U are engineering courses, UTM offering me Mechatronic Engineering, while USM is Electronic Engineering... For me, both course are good, but I didn't have that passion to continue study at this time... Just don't have the mood to go U, just cannnot.... May be I will go working 1 year first and continue study later... Why? Why all this problem com at once...

I just open my facebook account 3 days ago... This social web is filling up my time, but actually is not what I wanted... Whole day, sitting in front of my computer surfing this net, for me, is just a place to use up my time... In past, I thought time can help me settle everything, including forget her.. But it already 1 month, doesn't change... For me, my life is suffering...

今天是一个非常充实的一天。伤心，快乐，还有惊喜，不约而同的出现了。我做了一件很自私的决定，虽然很不舍得，但我必须要做，只想给自己好过些。到目前为止，我还是无法接受这事实，看见他，我的心真的很痛很痛，那痛苦未曾减少过，就和当初一样。For others, she is just a normal girl, but to me, she is special... Until now, I m still waiting, although I know it is impossible...

还有7天, 我将会离开这伤心的地方, 也许永远都不回来了... 在这, 我和她已工作了半年。。这事段时间不长, 但也不短... 离开家里来到这里工作的这段时间, 她渐渐成为了我的依靠... 现在的我, 很自私, 只想保护自己, 不想再受到任何伤害... 见到她, 只会让我回忆起以前的点点滴滴, 痛苦伤心的只有我自己... 我真的很不了解他, 之后, 既然连一点点伤感都没有... 现在的她只给我留下一个陌生的感觉...

Today I feel like a little bit better... May be, I do not love her anymore... All this feeling is just temporary... I know, it is impossible for me to forget her in this short time interval... 2 week ago, I really do feel, she is my the 1... I want to spent my whole life to protect her, loves her and lives with her... Now, I feel very calm, no more sad, but I have no feeling, no happy, no sad, and no excitement...

I feel like nobody understanding me, even though my family and SHE... My Feeling, what I want, what I think, I m the only  1 knew... What they did, is keep on pushing me... All thing they did, is not my need... Now, I really think I had Depression... I m so sad and stress... I feel I m just alone... Get well soon, don't thing too much...They just keep on saying all this thing, is not for me but is for their own good, they just doing thing called responsible... All of them don't really know me, they don't know, it is how hard for me to do it... All this thing, for me, such a kind of pressure...