Complex Life...
In real numbers, i, doesn't make sense...
i=surd(-1), something  impossible 4 REAL...

Same to our life, not every "why" have the answer...
So, you shouldn't asking "y" anymore...
Maybe, "y" just don't exists...
Or, the answer maybe "x"...
(Doesn't make sense)

Try and  learn to accept,
what life gave to you...