SKEE 1023...

Exam is just passed, 4 hour ago...

Stress has gone, or may be it never come...

I didn't manage to do well...

But, I can't feel anything about my failure...

May be, I m no longer care for my study...

Is it this, what they called mindset,

Because of I didn't care, then I won't feel sad...

I m sitting down there, 

Seeing all kind of faces, after the exam...

Some of them was happy, some looks sad,

And the others are discussing about the questions...

At the least, they still having that kind of passion....

Now, I m sitting in front of my computer...

Doing nothing, but don't want to shut it down...

I just don't want to let you go, my mouse...

Should I stop?

Today...
我以为, 生活开始转变了...
我以为, 孤单的日子已经过了...
我以为, 笑了开心了就会没事了...
我以为, 不再伤心就是忘记了...

其实, 我一直都在欺骗着自己...
尝试, 遗忘着, 一个, 无法忘记的回忆...
以为找对了, 但感觉不再一样了...
在这刻, 我又想你了...

但发现, 我无法找回以前的快乐...
也许, 这一切已经不一样了, 找不回了...
是时候, 改变了, 做回现在的自己...
寻找真正的快乐, 为以后的生活而努力...

Money...
Money is playing an important role in life...
Is money so important?

For others, I don't know, but, to me, is absolutely not...

After seeing a young Africa kid who had suffer from kwashiorkor, 

My concept about money was changed...
Without money, I feel myself helpless...

The money on its owns doesn't means anything...

Is depend on people, how they going to use it...

Money is nothing without use...

How to be happy?

This is the topic assign by my lecturer...

Is not hard to be happy but not easy too...

And, it's really tough for me to achieve that...

A journey toward happy life is ___ ...
Just live the ways that you feel good...

As long as you happy, there is nothing to be worry...

Our life is not long and it shouldn't be wasted...

We should appreciate the life...
Nothing wrong to be happy...

It is really a tough assignment - HAPPY...

I m so BORING...
Boring for the university life...
Boring for the courses offered by the faculty...
Boring for the activities held by the clubs...
Boring for attending the lectures...
Boring for seeing those boring faces...
Boring for surfing internet without any purpose...
Boring for day dreaming as only activity...
Boring for missing her all day long...
I don't want to be here...

我要独立...
身边的人都说我, 很会花钱...
但, 我已尽力了, 我花的用的, 都日常开销...
这星期, 我用了RM500, 有点过隆了, 我懂...
但都用在日常用品+文具+吃的而已...

年纪大了有行动不便的婆婆, 一人坐在银行外...
难道我可以当作看不见吗? 妈, 对不起, 我做不到...
但是, 你说得没错, 我给的不是我的钱, 当然慷慨啦...

户口里的钱, 剩下的, 也不多了...
我不能, 每次的每次都向家里要钱...
这次, 只好靠自己了, 又要打工了...
打工, 读书, 对我来说, 都没差...

Need to alone...
At this moment, I was confused...
I don't know why I m here, why I m doing this for...
I lost my life direction, living here with no purposes...
May be, I need a place like this to calm down...
I need a longer time to reset my life...
From sorrow to cheerful life...
Sorry, for people around me...
I just want to be alone...
Walk alone, sit alone, lunch alone, reading alone...
And, I think, this is the most suitable type of life for me right now...

Reality...
Now a day, in our society, not everything we do have options...

Is all about society needs, is not our requirements...

Sometimes, I feel my life hopeless...

Everyone are flowing a trend, a life trend...

Are this life trend suitable for all of us?

Doctor, accountant, lawyer, engineer and etc...

Why we must go for this? 

For me, I do study, but isn't for those things...

I study well, because I found it interesting...

CGPA 4.00 = Go University, I don't think so...

Can our life be little bit easier?

I want a happy life...

Sad, sad, and sad...

有时候, 真的很矛盾...

往往你做对了, 但又会后悔的决定...

她遇到困难了, 我应该给于安慰...

她在FB add我了, 我应该接受...

我不懂我在想什么? 真的...

难道, 你不懂我会难受吗?

难道, 你真的以为我放下了吗?

难道, 你真的不懂我做这一切的用意吗?

One Message...

你的关心,

给了我短暂的快乐...
让我开心了又失望了...

给了我不可能的希望和假设...

让我又开始更想你了...

冷淡的回复, 不想再给大家任何希望...

因为, 我承受不起, 再一次的失去...

对你的想念, 只能收在心底了, 希望不会痛了...

但, 很遗憾, 没有忘记过你...

Sick...
今天, 我生病了...
在这时候, 我想找你哭诉, 想要你的关心...
以前, 生病了...
你终会骂我不喝水, 逼我喝很苦很苦的苦茶...
但现在, 生病了, 再也不能告诉你了...
生病了, 只能把被单盖上, 好好休息...
在这一刻, 我想你了...

1 Day...

今天, 静静地度过了...

虽然, 这日子很孤单, 但有了安全感...

我想, 这刻. 没有人比我更了解这心情...

新同学说我很冷酷, 我只是不想说话...

家人误解我, 说我不会想, 但我想的最多...

心中, 想说的不能说, 想做的不能做, 的事太多...

Lost...
Sun is rising, it seem to be a nice day today...
For me, it's still the same, is rainy day...
The rain is seem to be monsoon...

If I do disappear on someday,
You should feel great for me...
Sadness and madness will no longer accompany...
There should be somewhere innisfree...
And, happy is the only thing that' s living...

Right now, I really need a stop...
A stop that can let me rest for a while...
A stop that can reattain my passion of life...
A stop that only for me...

回忆
再也不说, 也不问了, 只想静静地...
隔离自己, 独自生活. 不想把过去忘记...
宁愿伤心也不要忘记, 我对你, 最后的回忆...
再也不相信, 明天的生活会更精彩..
读再多书, 赚再多钱, 也没意思了, 你不会来了...
不再等待, 只希望她快乐, 伤心让我留着, 好吗?
她不算什么, 但她是全部...

Confusing....
All things I thought, was not happen...
I think I need to alone here to feel better, but it won't...
That is my problems, I m really sick...
All people is getting happy, but I m the one who pretending to be happy...
All people is involved, I m also together, but actually I m standing outside alone..
Family didn't understand me, friends only giving encourages...

Feeling like I m really alone, walking in dark street...
What I have left behind, is only me...
I m don't how to continue tomorrow life..
I m depressed again...

Life's Miracle...
一个坏了的时钟, 也会有重跳的一刻...
在我们的生活里, 它充满着奇迹...
在我的人生, 不相信奇迹的出现, 只相信自己的努力...

曾经, 奇迹在我人生中出现了...
但, 因为是奇迹带来的机会, 没经努力, 不懂珍惜, 最后还是失去了...
现在的我, 相信了奇迹, 等待着他的出现...
但, 最后, 学会了不再等待...

Unwanted Feeling...
一转眼又一个星期了, 时间过得好快好快...

每天的每天, 不断地把自己弄得忙忙碌碌, 不敢让自己有停下来的一刻...

一旦停了下来, 是否还能继续, 我也不懂...

一个人不停地努力, 努力着, 希望当初的习惯已不再是习惯...

时间可以带走记忆, 但无法冲淡回忆...

忘记很难, 想念更苦...
如今, 生活虽平坦, 但活得很踏实...

A Journey toward loneliness....

一段4年的生活, 就要开始了... 

回到了半年前, 一人独自生活的日子....

也许, 这样的生活, 是适合我的...

在这凌晨里, 心突然又痛了...

直到现在, 才能够, 悄悄地把眼泪流下...

是一个, 说不出, 也无法解释的痛...

原来我真的很在乎你
第一次吃菜了, 喝了甜的苦茶...
学会了不乱花钱, 学会了在乎, 也学会了吃醋...
习惯了睡前发信息, 习惯了等一封长长的信息...
第一次感觉到了幸福, 第一次吃到坏了蛋黄的粽子...
还有, 很多很多的第一次.. .. .. ..

这一切, 对我来说, 比任何东西都来得重要...
放弃, 不是不喜欢了, 而是不想再让你难过了...
我还是一样... 你还好吗?

ENDless Feeling
如果我现在死了, 就是爱了你一辈子...
害怕及恐惧, 已经在我人生中渐渐的消失...
因为, 最害怕, 最不想发生的事, 已经成了定局...

人生, 如今, 变成了噩梦...
多么多么地希望梦境的一切, 都是真实的...
不想, 每次每次地醒过来, 都是同样地失望...
如果, 可以选择, 我宁愿永远都不要醒来...
至少在梦里的我是开心的...

真的很想, 不顾一切, 到一个陌生的地方, 开始新的生活...
从新找回属于自己的恐惧感, 还有真正的自己...
但, 回到现实, 太多包袱和承担...
这永远只是个梦想...